Womanhood, Menstruation & Shame: Why Women Over 40 Need to Reclaim Their Cycle

From menstrual shame to perimenopause: What Ayurveda taught me about honouring my female body, slowing down, and listening to its changing needs.

For shame! Seriously. We are living in the 21st century, talking about artificial intelligence, longevity, biohacking, and how to live to 100. Yet somehow, the most natural thing in a woman’s life is still treated like an embarrassing secret.

We hide tampons up our sleeves. We discreetly pass sanitary pads to each other as if we’re exchanging illegal substances. And heaven forbid a man sees a tampon at the supermarket checkout!

Really, ladies?

We can talk about Botox, weight loss, and anti-aging treatments over coffee, but our menstrual cycle? Our changing hormones? The fact that our periods might become heavier, irregular, or completely unpredictable in our forties?

Suddenly, everyone goes quiet.

And I think it’s time we changed that.

Because our menstrual cycle is not something to be ashamed of. It’s an important part of our reproductive health, and as we enter our forties, it can tell us a great deal about the hormonal transition happening within our bodies.

We Were Taught How Not to Get Pregnant. But Who Taught Us About Our Cycle?

I got my first period when I was 13.

What did I know about menstruation?

Well, I needed tampons or sanitary pads, and apparently, I could now get pregnant.

That was pretty much it.

My mum didn’t teach me anything about menstruation. In school, we learned the basics of biology, but very little about what it actually means to live in a female body.

Nobody explained how our energy, mood, appetite, sleep, or physical needs might change throughout the menstrual cycle.

And if our periods were uncomfortable? Well, there was always a painkiller.

Or the contraceptive pill. These days, we know much more about the pill and its potential side effects on the female body and mind.

I took it without a second thought, knowing practically nothing about the possible side effects. I didn’t even question it. Taking the pill was considered normal. That’s it.

And it’s often prescribed for more than contraception, including heavy periods, skin issues, ovarian cysts, and other hormonal concerns. Back then, I wasn’t aware of any of this.

At 29, I decided to stop taking it. That was also when my life began to change. I left my home behind and embarked on the trip of my life, backpacking through Asia.

And then I began studying Ayurveda, which completely changed the way I looked at my menstrual cycle.

And what a revelation that was.

From Corporate Burnout to Rediscovering My Female Body

In my previous life, I was a businesswoman in the corporate world through and through.

Long working hours, driving from one meeting to another, dealing with customers, going to the gym, getting things done.

Rest during menstruation?

Excuse me, what?

I had a schedule to follow, responsibilities to manage, and things to achieve. My period was simply something happening in the background.

I was lucky that I never experienced severe menstrual pain. But that didn’t necessarily mean everything was perfectly balanced.

I had ovarian cysts for years. And looking back, I realise how little attention I gave to the signals my body was sending me.

Eventually, my corporate career ended in burnout.

And although burnout has many contributing factors, that experience made me question the way I had been living.

Why was I constantly pushing?

Why did I think rest was something I had to earn?

And why was I expecting my body to perform exactly the same way every single day?

Studying Ayurveda opened a completely different perspective.

For the first time, I began to see my menstrual cycle not as an inconvenience, but as something worth understanding and respecting.

It felt a little like a lotus flower emerging from the mud, finally opening to the light. And funny enough, I have a lotus tattoo on my right shoulder. Blink…

Yes, I know. Very poetic.

But that’s genuinely how it felt.

I started honouring myself as a woman.

And now, in my forties, that understanding has become even more important.

Menstruation After 40: Your Body Is Changing, Whether You Pay Attention or Not

Here’s something I wish more women understood.

Perimenopause doesn’t begin when your periods stop.

It can begin years before your final menstrual period, often during your forties and sometimes earlier.

During this hormonal transition, estrogen and progesterone levels begin to fluctuate, and ovulation may become less predictable. And here the hormonal rollercoaster begins…

And these changes can affect far more than your monthly bleeding.

You might suddenly notice that your periods become heavier or lighter. Your cycle might shorten, lengthen, or become irregular.

Perhaps you’re waking up at 3 AM, feeling anxious for no obvious reason, struggling with brain fog, or wondering why your usual workouts suddenly leave you exhausted.

And then there’s the belly fat that seems to have appeared out of nowhere.

Sound familiar?

Not every symptom is caused by perimenopause, of course. Sleep disturbances, thyroid conditions, iron deficiency, stress, and other health concerns can overlap with hormonal changes.

But this is exactly why we need more awareness, not less.

Too many women reach their forties knowing very little about the hormonal transition they are entering. And on top of that, many have never developed a healthy menstrual routine in the first place.

And when their bodies begin to change, they respond by pushing harder.

More exercise. Less food. More discipline. Another supplement. Another diet.

As if the body were somehow failing them.

What if your body isn’t failing you? What if it’s asking you to change the way you care for it?

That’s where Ayurveda offers a perspective I find incredibly valuable.

What Ayurveda Teaches Us About Menstruation and the Female Cycle

Ayurveda has recognised the importance of menstruation and women’s reproductive health for thousands of years. And that’s one of the things I love so much about Ayurveda. It places great importance on supporting female health throughout the different stages of life.

Traditional Ayurvedic texts describe Rajaswala Paricharya, a collection of lifestyle and self-care recommendations for menstruating women.

These teachings emphasise simplicity, rest, appropriate nourishment, and reducing unnecessary physical and mental strain during bleeding days.

This knowledge comes from thousands of years of tradition, when menstrual routines were an important part of women’s lives in India. I talk about this in my interview with Sinu Joseph, which you can watch for free on my YouTube channel.

In Ayurveda, menstruation is associated with Apana Vata, the downward-moving aspect of Vata responsible for processes such as elimination, menstruation, and childbirth.

From this traditional perspective, supporting the natural downward movement of Apana Vata is an important part of menstrual care.

Now, does that mean we should blindly follow every ancient rule?

Absolutely not.

I love Ayurveda. I’ve dedicated a significant part of my life to studying and practising it. But I also believe we need curiosity, common sense, and the ability to distinguish traditional wisdom from modern scientific evidence.

Some cultural practices surrounding menstruation have been used to restrict women, label them impure, or exclude them from everyday life but this is only the outside view, important is to understand to full knowledge.

Giving a woman permission to rest is very different from telling her she’s unclean.

Menstrual Rest Is Not Weakness. And It Certainly Isn’t Laziness.

One of the things that fascinated me when I began exploring traditional Indian menstrual practices was the emphasis on reducing activity during bleeding days.

No unnecessary physical exertion. More quiet time. Simple food. Less stimulation.

For someone who had spent years pushing through everything, this was almost revolutionary.

Today, I organise my own menstruation differently.

I don’t schedule intense workouts during my heaviest bleeding days. I prefer warm, nourishing meals, more rest, and a quieter environment.

I try not to overload my schedule with unnecessary commitments. Personally, I prefer taking menstrual leave when possible and simply staying home.

And if I need to cancel something because my body genuinely needs rest?

I cancel.

No guilt. No long explanations. No shame saying I have my menstruation even to men.

Now, let me be clear: there is no medical requirement for every woman to stop exercising, working, or socialising during her period. Some women feel perfectly comfortable continuing their normal activities. But from my Ayurvedic perspective, I still believe slowing down during menstruation is beneficial, even when we don’t experience discomfort.

Others experience fatigue, cramps, headaches, heavy bleeding, or a greater need for recovery.

And that deserves respect.

We don’t all have the same menstrual experience.

The point isn’t to create another set of rigid rules for women.

Goodness, we already have enough of those.

The point is to develop enough awareness to know what your body needs and give yourself permission to respond.

Five Ways to Support Your Menstrual Cycle After 40

If you’re in your forties, particularly if you’re noticing changes in your cycle, here are some practical ways to start approaching menstruation with more awareness.

The better we care for our menstrual health, the better prepared we may be to navigate the hormonal changes of perimenopause. Yet so many women in their forties still ignore their cycles.

And let’s be clear: severe menstrual pain should never simply be accepted as normal.

Ovulation also matters. After ovulation, the corpus luteum produces progesterone, an important hormone during the luteal phase. As ovulation becomes less predictable during perimenopause, progesterone patterns can change too, sometimes contributing to uncomfortable premenstrual symptoms.

We cannot control every hormonal fluctuation, but we can support our overall health and pay attention to what our bodies are telling us.

1. Track your cycle instead of simply counting the days

Start paying attention to your cycle length, bleeding patterns, symptoms, energy, mood, and sleep.

During perimenopause, these patterns can change.

Keeping a simple record can help you recognise what’s changing and give your healthcare provider useful information if you need an assessment.

2. Adjust your movement to your energy

I’m a big advocate of strength training for women over 40. Building and maintaining muscle is incredibly important for healthy aging.

But that doesn’t mean every workout needs to be intense.

If you’re feeling depleted during your period, choose gentle yoga, walking, mobility exercises, or rest.

Before menstruation its good reducing intense cardio and heavy weight training, particularly if you’re already feeling exhausted otherwise it will aggravate Vata even more.

Don’t train harder. Train smarter.

3. Nourish your body, especially if your periods are heavy

Your body needs sufficient energy, protein, iron, and other essential nutrients throughout the menstrual cycle.

If your periods are becoming heavier during perimenopause, it’s particularly important to pay attention to your iron status.

From an Ayurvedic perspective, I often recommend simple, warm, easily digestible meals during menstruation, especially when digestion (Agni) feels weaker.

Binge eating isn’t particularly helpful either. Somehow, we often use our periods as an excuse to eat all sorts of junk food, when this is actually a time when our bodies deserve simple, wholesome nourishment.

Think nourishing soups, cooked vegetables, lentils, and other foods that leave you feeling satisfied rather than depleted.

And please, don’t start another restrictive diet simply because your body is changing.

One more important point from my Ayurvedic approach: I don’t recommend fasting during menstruation.

This is considered a Vata-sensitive time, and Vata benefits from warm, nourishing, easily digestible meals. Rather than adding more stress through unnecessary food restriction, focus on nourishing yourself.

4. Protect your sleep and nervous system

Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause can affect sleep, mood, and stress sensitivity.

And if you’re already juggling work, family responsibilities, relationships, and everything else life throws at you, your nervous system may be carrying quite a load.

Create more space for recovery.

Keep a regular sleep schedule, reduce unnecessary evening stimulation, and pay attention to how caffeine, alcohol, meal timing, and stress affect your sleep.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop adding more to your already full plate.

5. Stop normalising menstrual suffering

I cannot emphasise this enough.

Severe menstrual pain, very heavy bleeding, bleeding between periods, or symptoms that interfere with everyday life deserve proper medical evaluation.

Conditions such as fibroids, adenomyosis, endometriosis, thyroid disorders, and iron deficiency may require investigation.

Ayurveda, nutrition, yoga, and lifestyle practices can be valuable complementary tools, but they should not replace appropriate diagnosis or medical treatment.

And please don’t assume every new symptom after 40 is simply perimenopause.

Your body deserves more than a quick dismissal. Have your relevant health markers checked, including iron status, and assess vitamin and mineral levels where appropriate.

Menstrual Leave: Why Are We Still Expecting Women to Push Through Everything?

I was genuinely happy when Spain introduced paid menstrual leave for women experiencing medically significant menstrual pain. Countries such as South Korea also have menstrual leave provisions, although how they’re used and accepted varies.

Not because I believe every menstruating woman needs to stay home.

But because it acknowledges something we have ignored for far too long.

Women’s health needs are real.

And sometimes, those needs require flexibility.

For decades, women have been encouraged to function as though their bodies operate on the same predictable schedule every single day.

Keep going. Don’t complain. Take a painkiller. Get the job done.

Be a good girl.

Well, perhaps it’s time we questioned that mentality.

Especially during perimenopause, when the body may become less predictable and recovery needs can change.

We need workplaces, healthcare systems, and communities that take women’s hormonal and reproductive health seriously.

And we also need women to stop dismissing their own symptoms.

Your Forties Are Not the End of Your Womanhood. They’re an Invitation to Understand It Differently.

One thing I find particularly interesting about working with women over 40 is how many are only now beginning to understand their own bodies.

We spent decades menstruating.

And yet, when perimenopause arrives, so many of us feel completely unprepared.

But I don’t believe this transition has to be approached with fear.

Yes, hormones change. Yes, your body may respond differently than it did in your twenties or thirties.

And yes, sometimes it’s bloody frustrating. Literally.

But this can also be an opportunity to develop a completely different relationship with yourself.

One where you stop fighting every change.

Where you understand your hormones, your metabolism, your nervous system, and your need for recovery.

Where healthy aging isn’t about desperately trying to stay 25, but about building a strong, capable, healthy body for the decades ahead.

And where you finally stop treating your female biology as an inconvenience.

I wish I had learned these things when I was 13.

But I’m grateful I discovered them when I did.

And now, at 43, I find myself appreciating that knowledge on an entirely new level.

Because the goal isn’t to control every aspect of our bodies.

It’s to understand them, work with them, and give them the care they deserve.

That’s what I want more women to experience.

Not another quick fix.

A better relationship with their own bodies.

Want to Explore Menstrual Health Through Ayurveda?

If you’re curious about traditional Indian menstrual practices and the Ayurvedic perspective on menstruation, I invite you to watch my free interview with Sinu Joseph, menstrual health educator and author, available on my YouTube channel.

It’s an opportunity to explore traditional knowledge, question what we’ve been taught, and discover a different perspective on how we approach menstruation today.

Watch the free Sinu Joseph masterclass here

Ready to Understand Your Changing Body After 40?

If you’re experiencing changes in your menstrual cycle, sleep, energy, mood, or weight, and you’re tired of trying to figure everything out on your own, I’d love to support you.

As an Ayurveda & Longevity Coach for women 40+, I combine traditional Ayurvedic principles with modern insights into women’s health, perimenopause, and healthy aging.

Together, we look beyond isolated symptoms and explore your lifestyle, daily routines, nutrition, stress, sleep, and the patterns that may be influencing how you feel.

No quick fixes. No one-size-fits-all solutions.

Just a more personalised, holistic approach to understanding and supporting your changing body.

Explore working with me and book your free Clarity Call